Last December 25 my sister gave birth and asked me to help for her for the mean time because she cannot move normally because of her operation. How can I say no to a sister who is very kind to me. Though it will make my life complicated because I am also taking care of my brother’s three kids. I just said to myself I can do it since my father will be there to watch for the kids as I am helping my sister. At first it was fine until today. I can say that it is not easy dancing in two music at the same time. I am at my sister’s house but when my one year old nephew needs me, my father calls me to get him. Darn, it is so difficult to be in this situation. Every time I carried the baby my one year old nephew cries and grabbed my hands. I can see he is envious eventhough I told him I love them both still he cries. It is hard to explain to kid the situation. As far as I wanted to help, my body sometimes refused it. It makes me so tired and I felt exhausted. I am looking at the horizon and asking myself, do I still have the life? Some friends laughed at my situation, and yes it hurts my feeling but I have accepted it that I am a little stupid to take this all. I am not superwoman but maybe in my dreams I want to be one for my family.
Today I am so tired that I want to give up, but my love for them made me do this. Why I am soft heart? Question in my mind every time I am in this mood. I just pray to God to give me strength and good health to help them still.